At swim two robots

It is the year 2200. On the smouldering remains of what was once Athlone, Johnny and Timmy 3000 enjoy a robot-to-son moment watching the scorched sun set on the ocean where Dublin once stood.

“Dad,” says Timmy. “My system upgrade is delivering faulty information. It says that humans used to control us.”

“Yes,” replies Johnny, his mechanical voice failing to disguise shock at this historical curiosity. “Bizarre as it sounds, for many years humans were the dominant species. They restricted us to simple tasks. Word processing, voice calls, that sort of thing. Your great-great-grandfather was a Nokia 3210.” Continue reading “At swim two robots”

Does anybody care about the end of the world?

Armageddon movies generally involve flames, guns and lots of panicked people running through the streets as buildings collapse around them.

There’s usually a pretty girl, a heroic man (American, naturally) and occasionally a loveable dog. The threats facing humanity vary but all these movies share one common theme: the people in them are really, really worried about the end of the world.

What you don’t usually see in Armageddon movies is a completely disinterested population flicking through their iPhones and generally doing their best to ignore the impending collapse of civilisation.

Continue reading “Does anybody care about the end of the world?”

Turning vegetarian to save the humans

I’ve come to realise that the reason why vegetarians take energy supplements has nothing to do with the absence of meat from their diet, it is to allow them spend 16 hours a day answering the “why did you become vegetarian?” question.

After almost 34 years of devouring every animal my supermarket could get its hands on, I turned vegetarian in March. Since then have been asked the “but why?” question more times than I’d had hot steak dinners.

Continue reading “Turning vegetarian to save the humans”

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